


and you'll fight it, you'll go out fighting all of 'em

by WattStalf



Series: Poll Fics [119]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions
Genre: Childhood Friends, Coming Out, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Multi, Nipple Play, Requited Unrequited Love, Trans Male Character, Unrequited Love, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:49:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26949991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: Traveling, getting away from home, is the best thing that Guzma can do. Sometimes with Kukui, sometimes with Molayne, sometimes both, and sometimes on his own, he's just happy to be away from home. A lot of things are changing lately, but he and Kukui have already promised each other that the change doesn't mean anything.
Relationships: Burnet-hakase | Professor Burnet/Kukui-hakase | Professor Kukui, Guzma/Kukui-hakase | Professor Kukui, Guzma/Mullein | Molayne, Guzma/Plumeri | Plumeria (Pokemon)
Series: Poll Fics [119]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1459168
Kudos: 11





	and you'll fight it, you'll go out fighting all of 'em

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this last month and whew, it is. One of those kind of personal, means a lot to me kinda things, cos Guzma is one of those characters I project onto a lot. This story covers pre-island challenge, some pre-coming out, mostly takes place during the island challenge, and then shows them all adults.

“Stop it,” his best friend says to him. “Just…stop, get your hands off me. You don’t wanna do this.”

Kukui cocks his head, wondering why he wouldn’t want to. Maybe just because he shouldn’t try to ruin their friendship, and shouldn’t act on impulse, but he is not so sure that his friend really disagrees with that idea, not with the reactions that he has gotten so far. “Why?”

“Because you don’t really like me, I mean. You’re not gonna like me anymore once I tell you, so you should stop right now.”

His friend makes absolutely no sense. “Why would I not like you?” he asks.

“Because!” Kukui jumps at the sudden, frustrated shout. “Because I’m not a girl, alright? I’m a boy, so just…just back off!”

~X~

_ Everything always comes so naturally when he is with her that it just feels right, to go with what he is feeling in the moment. That is his excuse for what happens that afternoon, when they are still young, still bright-eyed and hopeful for their upcoming island challenge, and spending as much time goofing off and having fun as they possibly can before things get serious. _

_ Even then, he knows that things are complicated with her. He does not know all the details of her situation at home, and, as far as he can tell from the few times that he has gone to her house, her parents seem just fine. But even so, he has a feeling that that is not all there is to the situation, but he is not sure if it is his place to ask her, and so he doesn’t. Instead, he just lets her have as much fun with him as possible, to make up for whatever may happen behind closed doors. _

_ Today, they have his house to themselves for a little while, and they come in from the summer heat to cool down with ice cream. He wants to pull all the stops out because he knows that his parents won’t mind, and because he wants her to have a good time, and because this will probably be their last chance for a while to go all out like this. It may seem like something simple, but he thinks that it is completely acceptable to get this excited over every little thing when he is about to go traveling. _

_ The brownies that he made the night before make for a perfect base, and together, they build up massive sundaes, covered in chocolate, and eat way more ice cream than they would probably be allowed if they had any supervision right now. Moments like this are the most fun with her, when she lets her guard down enough to have fun for a little while, the two racing to see who can finish their sundae faster, both having to stop quickly because of the brain freeze, without a proper winner ever being declared, which of course leads to a very minor dessert slinging feud. _

_ Eventually, they do finish off their ice cream, both sitting back on the kitchen floor, resting up for a moment before cleaning up the mess that they have made in the process. That is when he looks over to her, bursting out laughing at the mess of chocolate on her face. _

“ _ What are you looking at?” she asks with a scowl. The closest he has ever gotten to actually witnessing anything that may be off in her home is the way her mother tells her that scowl looks ugly on her, but he has always thought that it was cute, and nearly told her mother as much. He only stopped himself because he did not know if that would actually help matters or make them worse, and because it would probably make things weird. If he called her cute, she might break his arm. _

“ _ You’re a total mess!” he says with a laugh, and her scowl deepens. _

“ _ Like you can talk, you should see your face right now,” she mutters. Grinning, he leans in, and her eyes widen as she backs up, not sure why he is getting so close to her. He has no idea why either, but everything always comes so naturally when the two of them are together, so he is just going to go with it, just like always. Eventually, she hits the cabinet behind her and has no more room to back up, so he can lean in to lick the chocolate from the corner of her mouth. _

“ _ What the hell are you doing?!” she demands, shoving him a bit. Much like the secret of how cute he thinks she is, he has never told her how  _ cool  _ she is for being able to swear so easily. She claims she can turn it off and on, and never does it when it might get her in trouble, but he is not sure if he would be able to manage something like that. _

“ _ Like I said, you’re a mess!” _

“ _ Well, like _ I _ said,” she retorts, not finishing her sentence before she leans in as well, licking along his cheek. And then they’re at it again, caught up in the moment, licking and shoving each other, until she has tackled him to the ground and they begin wrestling, laughing as they go, until he has her on her back, pinned to the kitchen floor. _

_ Suddenly, something seems to shift, and looking down at her, he feels…strange. Not the first time that he has felt weird around her lately, but it is a lot easier to brush off when he doesn’t have her pinned down, both of them breathing heavy after their tussle. There is still a little bit of chocolate on his face, and he tells himself that he is just leaning down to lick it up, continuing on with their game, and that that will revert everything back to normal somehow. _

_ He kisses her instead. Pressing his lips down against hers, he kisses her, acting on an impulse that has finally become impossible to resist, their bodies pressed together, his weight bearing down on her. And, for whatever reason, she kisses him back, even though he was fairly certain he was going to get his arm broken for this, maybe both of them. Which makes him wonder why he did it in the first place, but then, he realizes that she is  _ kissing him back _ , and thinking about anything at all seems much less important than her lips on his. _

_ While he kisses her, he finds himself grinding down against her, his excitement growing more and more with each passing second, with each movement. She matches his movements, her hips working against his, and if one of them breaks the kiss to breathe, the other is quick to resume it, both moaning, both losing themselves in whatever this is. He has no idea how to describe any of this, but it all just feels right to him, like this is exactly what they should be doing. _

_ He also has no idea what’s happening when she pulls back from the kiss and cries out, squirming beneath him with a strange look on her face, but he likes it, so much that he is kissing her again in no time at all, grinding even harder against her until he is the one crying out, but this time, he knows exactly what’s happened. Since this usually only happens when he’s alone, in his room or the bathroom, usually thinking about her these days, but that’s something he has tried not to address, and now he goes still on top of her, and the magic of the moment seems to be broken, the two of them returning to reality. _

_ She is quiet as she cleans up the kitchen, and he hurries off to clean himself up. He is surprised that she is cleaning without a fuss, but it must be easier for her than actually saying anything, and he can understand that. Whatever they just did has the potential to make things really weird between the two of them, and he doesn’t know how it’s going to change things. But when he comes back out, approximately half the mess is cleaned up, and she’s already gone. _

_ Despite the possibly bad situation, he can’t help but laugh a little bit. It’s just like her to intentionally clean up halfway, just to leave the rest for him. _

~X~

As it turns out, their encounter does not have to change much, just as long as they keep pretending that it never happened. Which is exactly what they do, except Kukui kind of doesn’t want it to not have happened, and he kind of wants to keep doing stuff like that, and that is why he finds himself here, with his friend brushing off his advances, certain that Kukui won’t want to do anything with him now that he knows that he’s a boy.

It’s actually a lot to take in, with a sudden outburst like that, but Kukui can tell this is the sort of thing that he’s expecting him to act all shocked about, and maybe even end the friendship over. He can only imagine how things might go over at home for him, if he were to say something like that to his dad. His mother has recently left the picture, which helped them in pretending nothing happened, because they had other things to be distracted by, but either way, Kukui knows how his family is, and knows that this is exactly the kind of thing that could see him on the street, or worse.

So that’s why he says, “Oh, okay.”

“Okay? That’s all you’re gonna say? You’re not gonna act all surprised or weirded out?”

“You’re a boy,” he replies. “I didn’t really know that before now, but it’s not like it changes anything. About anything, really, even…that stuff.”

Maybe he’s got a bit of a one track mind, to still be thinking about that when his best friend is trying to tell him something this important. But it really doesn’t matter to him, because they’re both still the same people; he doesn’t know exactly how it all works, but he knows that if his best friend says he’s a boy, then he might as well take that at face value, since he’s going to know better than anyone else, and he also knows, right then and there, that he doesn’t care nearly as much about that, when it comes to these feelings.

His sexuality has never really been an issue before now. Before now, he hadn’t had a reason to think about it, because he thought he had a crush on a girl, and he hasn’t really been interested in anyone else. Now, he supposes that doesn’t really matter; he definitely likes boys, the more he thinks on it, and he’s still pretty sure that he likes girls. But the one thing he does know is that he likes the person standing in front of him.

Who is not sure how to take the casual way that he’s taking this, so it might be a bit before Kukui can get him to settle down. Once he does, though…

~X~

Traveling is the best thing that Guzma could do right now. Getting away from home, from his father…he tries not to think about any of that stuff. He and Kukui have talked about this for a long time, but it’s great to finally be out here  _ doing it _ , the two of them. And Molayne, a friend of Kukui’s that Guzma only met a handful of times before now, but he’s not  _ too _ frustrating to deal with, so it’s fine.

Kukui is the real pain in Guzma’s ass, and he always has been. Friends or not, he’s annoying as hell, and Guzma can’t stand him most of the time. Especially not now, but that’s because things are a lot more complicated than they used to be, even if Kukui is fine with acting like they’re simple. Having Molayne around makes it difficult to discuss that sort of thing, so he is able to dodge the subject just fine, much more focused on how excited he is to be on the road, spouting off random facts and bits of information as they go, reminding Guzma that, as stupid as he may, he’s also a huge fucking nerd.

Things have been different between the two of them, since that day when Kukui pinned him to the ground and kissed him. Back then, Guzma had been in such a panic over it, over how fast things went and how much he liked it, and how he felt like he was lying to Kukui all the time, so the next time Kukui tried something with him, he decided to tell the truth, and just accept that their friendship was over. But stupid, simple Kukui didn’t see it that way; stupid, simple Kukui seemed to understand perfectly, somehow, and then things  _ really _ changed between the two of them.

Guzma thinks about it way too much, and how good it was, and how he’d kind of like to do that again. Molayne is around, which makes it easy to avoid the subject, and difficult to think about how he might get Kukui to have sex with him again. Molayne isn’t  _ too _ frustrating, and way more tolerable, personality wise, than Kukui, but his presence gets to be annoying at times, and sometimes Guzma wishes that it could be just the two of them again, that there wasn’t anyone else around to bother them.

One thing he will say about Molayne is that he doesn’t ask questions. Maybe Kukui told him some things ahead of time, but when they meet up for their journey, despite having met Guzma in the past, he doesn’t question any of the changes, and just goes right along with everything, which is nice. And on the road, they have chances to meet people who don’t know him at all, and that’s even better. Everything is just fine, in every regard except for how fucking  _ horny  _ Guzma has been since that first time, and how he doesn’t know how to ask for more, or if he even can.

~X~

“ _ See, so I still want to do this with you,” Kukui says, and Guzma groans. _

“ _ You don’t have to keep  _ talking  _ about it, you can just  _ do it _ ,” he says, trying to hide just how flustered the whole situation has him. How was he to know that his big confession would only result in Kukui doubling down, and trying even harder to fuck him? _

_ Not that he minds. He wants this, he wants it more than he could ever openly admit to, and it was hard, brushing him off and trying to be honest with him, when, at the time, he thought that he could it easily if he just kept lying. But he didn’t, and now he’s still getting it, because apparently Kukui still likes him, or something. _

_ Not like that, though. They have both insisted to each other, over and over again while they undress, that this isn’t going to change anything, and they’re not going to let this make things weird. Last time didn’t, because they didn’t let it, and because it didn’t mean anything. None of this has to mean anything serious, that is what he and Kukui assure each other. _

_ Guzma never asks what would change if it was serious. He doesn’t think that he should, and doesn’t want to make himself that vulnerable for Kukui, when he’s already put enough of his feelings on the table. Right now, he just wants to do this, wants to do what they’ve probably both been wanting since they first started waking up in the middle of the night, sweaty and confused and aching for something that they’d never experienced before. _

_ Neither of them really know how to start it, but Guzma doesn’t want to spend too much time talking about it, or too much time just standing around, naked like this. It shouldn’t matter, since Kukui has already said he doesn’t care, but he’s still self-conscious, would still rather not have his friend look at him for too long. He rushes things along, not caring if they screw a few things up along the way, just as long as they actually  _ screw _ already. _

_ Kukui gets on top of him, like he did that day, and he kisses him again. So many nights, Guzma has reached up to touch his lips, practically buzzing with the memory of Kukui’s, unable to calm himself down thinking about kissing him again. This feels good, natural in a way that he can’t explain, and they both quickly lose themselves in the motions, grinding against each other again, but this time, they both know that this is not where they are going to stop. _

_ Neither of them know where to go from here, so Guzma insists that he just go for it already, and Kukui, tired of being bossed around, does as he’s told, and for the first couple minutes or so- maybe a few seconds, maybe a few hours, it’s hard to tell- Guzma can’t think at all. It hurts, it’s too much, he wasn’t ready, he’s going to cry, please don’t let him fucking  _ cry _ right now, it hurts, and Kukui is on top of him, moaning and whining and apologizing, he must be able to tell that it hurts from looking at him, please, he better not already be  _ crying _ about this. _

_ He isn’t crying, but there are tears that he quickly blinks back, refusing to let them fall as he tries to catch his breath. Maybe this isn’t something that he needed to rush, maybe this isn’t something that he needed to try and be tough about, but Kukui is inside of him now, barely breathing through his own whimpers, and Guzma is doing his best to catch his own breath, to get used to the feeling of being penetrated, so they can keep on with it, and get it over with. _

_ Eventually, the pain subsides enough that Kukui is able to move inside of him, and then things are over so quickly that Guzma barely has time to register what is happening before Kukui is pulling out of him and coming all over his sheets. It’s over so quickly, and nowhere near as satisfying as what happened that day on the kitchen floor. Kukui seems to have enjoyed it just as much, but Guzma is still riled up, and hasn’t felt that… _ thing _ he felt, that must be the same as whatever Kukui deals with, but way less messy. His underwear was damp when he got home, but it’s nothing compared to what Kukui shoots out, that’s for sure. _

“ _ Sorry, that was…” Kukui starts, but he can hardly breathe still, and doesn’t finish his sentence. Guzma just reaches between his legs and starts touching himself like he does when he’s home alone. He’s never gotten himself to that same point before, never felt as good as he did that day, but he always feels frustratingly close, hanging right there on that edge for so long that he eventually gives up and waits for the excitement to wear off so that he can sleep. _

“ _ Let me try that,” Kukui says. “Can you show me how? It feels good, doesn’t it?” _

“ _ Of course it does, I wouldn’t be doing it if it didn’t,” he mutters, but he complies, showing Kukui what he’s trying to do. And, much to his surprise, Kukui seems to figure it out quickly. So quickly, in fact, that he’s able to do what Guzma hasn’t been able to, despite all the time he has spent trying. _

~X~

He still struggles to do it alone, only succeeding every now and then. The actual sex part might have only been alright, but if he were to get an earlier start, maybe if he let Kukui touch him before they did it, then he might have more fun with it. Obviously, they’re playing on uneven fields, with Kukui having an easier time of it, so there just has to be something done about all of that, and then things would be good.

Except maybe nothing is ever going to happen between them again. Maybe when they said it wouldn’t change anything, when they said it didn’t mean anything, they meant it was something that would only happen that once, and then they would move on and pretend it never happened. There’s no real way for him to figure that out, because it’s impossible to bring it up as long as Molayne is around, and by the time Guzma’s gotten rid of Molayne, he’s gotten rid of Kukui too.

The three of them go their separate ways for their own training and interests, agreeing to meet up when they can along the road, but taking their challenges at their own pace. Guzma is alone for a little while, which makes things easier and more difficult, in different ways. He no longer has to worry about trying to keep quiet when he tries to see if he can make himself come all on his own, and he’s a little less horny without having to worry about when Kukui might take his shirt off next.

But he also can’t talk to Kukui or hint at what he might still want to do with him. That seems like a small worry to trade in comparison for privacy and not having Molayne around all the time, but it’s the first time in a while that he hasn’t spent the majority of his time with Kukui. As he finds himself getting more lonely, he thinks he wouldn’t mind all three of them traveling together again, just because that would beat being alone.

Besides, Molayne really isn’t bad. He’s a pushover and a total dork, but he’s agreeable and he doesn’t make things weird for Guzma, so those are positives. In fact, for some reason or other, he seems to  _ like _ Guzma, and considers the two of them to be friends, which isn’t something that he’s used to. Kukui is one thing, but they’ve known each other for so long that they have to put up with each other. Molayne, it almost seems like he actually  _ wants _ to be friends.

~X~

He tries not to spend a lot of time thinking about how he misses Kukui, or how weird it is to not be around Kukui. Being clingy is a lot weirder, especially when they’re friends, they’ve always just been friends. Thinking about fucking him all the time is even weirder than that, when their first time wasn’t even all that great, and really didn’t mean anything at all. Guzma tries to keep his mind off of all of these things, but it does him no good when he runs into Kukui by chance along the road, and can’t stop his stupid heart from racing.

“What a coincidence!” Kukui acts like it’s a big deal that they’ve run into each other, like they aren’t both on the same journey right now. He always makes a big deal of the dumbest things, dragging Guzma along with him whenever we can. “We should totally celebrate this, yeah!”

“Celebrate what? What’s there to celebrate?”

“Us running into each other! I was gonna see if I could find out where you were so we could meet up soon anyway, so this is like the perfect coincidence,” he says, beaming. Guzma kind of wants to punch him, but decides to refrain, for the moment. “So the perfect thing to do to celebrate is go in halfway on a hotel, right?”

“Wait, where the hell’d you get  _ that _ idea from?” Guzma asks, not following him at all on this.

“I was just thinking about how it’d be nice to sleep in a fancy room with a nice bed, and you’re here, and we’ve both got prize money to blow…”

Ah, so this is just about getting a cheaper room. Somehow, that isn’t surprising at all, and Guzma figures he should probably just tell Kukui to fuck off and spend his own money. That might have been what he would have done in the past, except…well, there are definitely things that could be addressed, if they were sleeping in the same room. In a locked room, without anyone else around to make it so that it feels too weird to try and talk about things.

He goes along with it, not bothering to put up much of a fuss. Guzma isn’t sure if he is going to actually try for anything, and the closer they get to the hotel, the more he questions if this was actually a good idea. He might just try and sleep and keep pretending that nothing ever happened, because wouldn’t Kukui have said something by now if he  _ didn’t _ want to pretend it never happened?

Kukui requests their room, and Guzma hangs back, listening to their conversation. One night, one room, two beds, for the nice young men doing their island challenge. It isn’t long before the bill is settled, and the two of them are heading up and going to settle in. Guzma doesn’t actually feel that tired, now that he thinks about it, and he hasn’t slept in the same room as Kukui since they were both really little, and there definitely wasn’t all this weird tension back then. How, exactly, is he supposed to sleep?

“This bed’s mine!” Kukui announces, jumping on the one closest to the window. Guzma has no real preference, so he just puts his stuff down and sits on the other one. There is a brief silence, while Kukui bounces on his bed, before he speaks up again, saying, “Actually, I don’t know about this one, let me just…”

With that, he flops onto Guzma’s, and Guzma stands up quickly. “What are you doing?”

“I think I like this one better. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Whatever,” he mutters, and goes to the bed that Kukui left abandoned. It doesn’t feel any different than the other, so he has no idea what Kukui is on about, or how he can be so picky when he is used to sleeping in a sleeping bag, or on a Pokemon Center cot. Just like that, Kukui suddenly slops down next to Guzma once again.

“Nah, this one was actually the better one,” he says.

“Fuck, okay, just make up your mind.” Guzma is starting to get really irritated, especially as he moves back to the bed he left behind. He looks over to Kukui, who is staring him- staring his bed- down. Making eye contact with him, he says, “Don’t even fucking think about it.”

But he does it anyway, jumping over to Guzma’s bed. “I like this one better.”

“What’s the difference?! They’re both the same, stop screwing around and just pick one so you can get to sleep and stop bugging me!”

“The difference is you’re in this one.”

Fucking  _ hell _ . He just had to go and say something like that, just had to break the ice so easily when Guzma hasn’t been able to figure it out for the life of him, when Guzma thought that it was impossible to even approach the subject, and now it’s hanging in the open. So he stands up, and Kukui tugs on his hand.

“Come on, stay in this one with me. I’ve been lonely without you.”

“Oh, shut up!” he snaps, facing away, but he lets Kukui keep holding his hand, and doesn’t make any real effort to move. “Don’t just say shit like that…”

“Everything happened really fast before we left, and then Mo was with us, so I didn’t know if we could really…but it was fun before, wasn’t it?” asks Kukui.

“Maybe for you,” he mutters.

“You’ve been thinking about it. I heard you, you know?” Now, Guzma does turn to face him, just to see that knowing smirk on Kukui’s face. His own face starts to heat up as he realizes what Kukui is implying. “You were pretty quiet, but I heard you in your tent one night when I couldn’t sleep.”

“You’re making that up.”

“You’re blushing pretty hard though. Don’t worry, I don’t think Mo ever noticed. At least, he didn’t say anything to me if he did.”

“Then that doesn’t really matter!” As he protests, Kukui pulls on his hand again, and Guzma finds himself giving in. Before he knows it, he is sitting on the bed again, next to Kukui, who won’t stop grinning at him, because he knows that he has him caught.

“We’ve got this whole room to ourselves, Guzma. Mo isn’t around anymore, and neither is anyone else,” he murmurs, laying his head on Guzma’s shoulder, causing him to go stiff. “It was fun before, and I miss it, and you missed it. I missed  _ you _ , you know.”

Fucking  _ hell _ . Before he knows what’s happening, he is being pushed on his back, and Kukui is on top of him, just like that day on the kitchen floor. He grinds down against Guzma, letting him feel his excitement, letting him feel just how much he missed it. Guzma is the one to kiss Kukui, even though there is a part of him telling him not to, a part of him telling him to keep resisting, and to keep playing hard to get. That certainly would be a lot easier, or maybe it’s harder, in the long run, to put up a front and deny himself the thing that he wants most out of all of this.

It’s difficult to say if it is easy or hard to give himself over to Kukui. Easy, because his body goes along with it naturally, and hard, because admitting to his feelings and desires are nearly impossible for someone like him, who is and has always been guarded. Kukui pushes a hand under his shirt, and he flinches a bit, breaking the kiss, not sure what to make of this, since it breaks the routine- if what little they have done so far can really be counted as a routine.

He considers himself lucky to be pretty small in that regard, making it easy to layer and make his chest look completely flat, but that only makes it feel that much weirder for Kukui to reach under there and to grope him like this. It’s even weirder because he likes it, because he whimpers under the other boy’s touch, and he bites his lip to try and keep quiet, even though he knows that is pretty much useless.

“Feels weird,” he mutters, feeling so conflicted by all of this. Kukui pinches one of his nipples and he loves it, but he doesn’t want to love it because he doesn’t know if he should. It feels like such a stupid thing to worry about right now, when it’s just  _ Kukui _ , who has already seen everything there is to see, and who has known him longer than anyone else, but he doesn’t know how else to feel about it all.

“It’s good though, right?” Kukui asks. “I mean, I think it feels good.”

“Huh?”

Looking off to the side, a little bit sheepish, he replies, “I mean, I’ve tried it before, like…on myself? I don’t know, I thought it would feel good and it did for me. Don’t you like it?” As if to punctuate his question, he gives Guzma’s nipple another slight pinch, taking him by surprise and making him cry out in his pleasure. His smirk tells Guzma that he already knows that he likes it now, that that answered the question easy enough, without him actually needing to say anything, or to try and deny it.

But he feels a lot less conflicted hearing Kukui say that he likes it a lot himself. All of the sudden, he feels relaxed, like this is all perfectly natural, and he doesn’t care if he is being stupid about it all. He’s just with Kukui right now, so it’s okay; Kukui says that it’s okay, so it’s okay. He hates how much he relies on his friend for such basic comforts, but as he loses himself to pleasure, it is a lot easier to not worry about it, and to just let himself rely on Kukui for a little bit longer.

He lets Kukui play with his nipples, and then he wants a turn, claiming that it isn’t fair that Kukui is always on top, always making him squirm. Kukui is more than willing to switch off, to let Guzma get on top of him, and of course, he already wasn’t wearing a shirt, so that makes this easy enough. Head swimming with desire, with new desires and with desires that he has tried to keep to himself while trying not to gawk at his shirtless friend, Guzma starts out really low.

He starts out with his tongue in Kukui’s navel, internally asking himself what the hell he thinks he’s doing, but that isn’t enough to stop him. Kukui squirms, making strange noises that Guzma can’t tell what they mean, if it’s pleasure or discomfort or somewhere in between, but he doesn’t ask Guzma what he’s doing, or tell him to stop, so he just keeps going. He moves his tongue around, not sure what to do with it now that he’s started this, but he moves up slowly, licking along his stomach, always so jealous of how firm and perfect his body is, always annoyed with himself for staring at his body so much to begin with.

But then he licks over one of Kukui’s nipples and listens to him whine, feels him shudder and writhe, and he is more focused on this than anything. He has no idea what he should be doing, but he goes with his instincts here. Doing what his body has told him to has worked so far, so he wraps his lips around his nipple and starts to suck, and Kukui cries out, moaning and whining, not bothering to hide anything about just how much he really enjoys this. It feels weird to have this much power, to be able to make him act like this, but it only makes Guzma crave more, the ache between his legs becoming unbearable.

So it is not long before he is sitting back, still on top of Kukui, but with his pants on the floor, so that he can make Kukui touch him, so that he can show him a little more about how to do it right. Even then, it is not enough to satisfy his impatience, and soon enough, Kukui’s pants are pulled down just enough for Guzma to straddle his cock, saying that he is going to take the lead this time, because probably knows what to do a hell of a lot better.

Taking it at his own pace and doing things on top help out a lot, and it does not hurt nearly as much as he remembers from the first time. Instead, it feels like they get right back into where they left out, where it feels good at last, where he thinks, if he just keeps this up for a little while, then he can finally get what it is that he’s reaching for.

And this time, he definitely does.

~X~

Kukui knows that this doesn’t mean anything to Guzma. They agreed from the beginning, each one doing what they could to reassure the other that this didn’t have to change anything. Guzma was so adamant about it that he knows it would be pushing things to try and get anything more out of their relationship. Having sex with him is nice enough anyway, and they got little sleep during their night in the hotel, spending most of the time making up for as much lost time as they could, figuring each other out and seeing just how far they could take things.

Having sex with Guzma is  _ great _ , and being his friend is great, and losing either of those would really suck, which is exactly why Kukui is never going to ask him out. The two of them meet up along the road to travel sometimes, and they work out any pent up frustrations from when they were apart, unless Molayne is there, in which case, they try and keep things under wraps.

There is something about the way that Molayne looks at Guzma that makes Kukui curious about him, but he never feels jealous. He thinks that there is a possibility that Molayne is interested, whether Guzma notices or not, but he never feels jealous of that. To him, it makes perfect sense, considering how long he has been interested, and he is pretty sure that Guzma doesn’t want to be with anyone, which is part of why he has put no effort into confessing. There’s nothing to be jealous of, when he’s the one actively fucking Guzma, and when Guzma would probably never go out with Molayne.

Somehow, that doesn’t feel like the only reason that he isn’t jealous, though. He has no real way of explaining it, and it makes absolutely no sense to him, but even if there were something between Guzma and Molayne, he thinks that he would be fine with it. He would prefer if he and Guzma still had what they have, but as long as he has that, he thinks that he would be okay with them having something. It only becomes more complicated, the more he thinks about it, so he tries to push it out of his mind, and to ignore Molayne’s rather obvious crush.

But it does make him want Guzma a lot more when they aren’t exactly alone. He tries his best to forget those desires when they’re traveling with Molayne, because he knows that Guzma wants to keep it a secret, and he understands that. They aren’t a couple, and what they do is completely private, nothing that needs to be shared with the world, or even one of their only other friends. Even so, thinking about the way that Molayne obviously wants Guzma makes Kukui think about how much  _ he _ wants Guzma, and then not being alone becomes really difficult for him, and he tries to look for chances that Molayne might be distracted, that he might be able to get even a little bit closer with his friend.

The opportunity presents itself one day, when Molayne has strayed from the camp with one of his Pokemon, giving them a little bit of privacy. Not much, but just enough for Kukui to corner Guzma and kiss him, and Guzma must be feeling a little desperate for it himself, because he does not fight it, and the two of them are soon making out behind one the tents, with Kukui’s hand under Guzma’s shirt.

Which is when they hear Molayne say, “Man, I nearly forgot my Pokeballs, I’m so-” He stops suddenly, at the same moment that they spring apart, but it doesn’t matter, because he has already seen them, and there isn’t exactly any way for them to explain this away as anything other than what it is.

“We were just…we just…” Kukui starts, not sure how to say it in a way that will properly explain things, and also not set Guzma off at all.

“None of your business,” Guzma mutters. “That wasn’t anything, it just happens sometimes.”

It just happens sometimes? Kukui wants to laugh at the way he says it, like they occasionally just trip onto each other and end up accidentally making out while Kukui cops a feel. But he holds back his laughter, because that would only piss Guzma off anymore, and he is already plenty pissed, and really embarrassed, judging by the way he can’t maintain eye contact with either of them, and the way his cheeks are tinged with a blush.

“Exactly,” Kukui says. “We didn’t want to make anything weird for you, but we aren’t, well…”

“We just fuck sometimes,” Guzma says bluntly. “That’s about all there is to it.”

Molayne, flustered as he is, seems to accept the explanation, gets what he’s come back for, and goes back out. Needless to say, Guzma is no longer in the mood anymore, and wants to do his own training, so Kukui is left on his own, to think about things. He shouldn’t feel any sting, but the way Guzma downplays it all  _ does _ sting. Because maybe he isn’t really downplaying it at all, and maybe Kukui needs to get rid of any part of himself that might still believe he has a chance with him. They’re just fucking. They just fuck sometimes. That really all there is to it, and he needs to get that into his head already.

When Molayne and Guzma come back, the three of them get back into their usual routine, and they do a good job of pretending that Molayne didn’t catch them making out, and that Kukui didn’t get his feelings hurt over something stupid. Well, not like they would know that part anyway.

~X~

Guzma is used to spending time alone with Kukui, and he is used to spending time with both Kukui and Molayne, but as for spending time with just Molayne, that part is new. But he runs into Molayne along the way, without Kukui around, and the two of them travel together for a little while, since they’re already heading in the same direction. He can’t stop thinking about Molayne catching him and Kukui in the act, and the way Kukui was quick to dismiss it all. Whether he was just doing it for Molayne’s sake or not does not seem to matter very much, because they haven’t talked about it since, and there’s probably no need to talk about it. Guzma is probably just looking too deep into things, when they really are just friends who fuck sometimes.

“About you and Kukui,” Molayne starts, the first time that he has brought up the absolute last thing that Guzma wants to discuss with anybody, let alone him.

“What  _ about _ it?” he snaps, trying to sound threatening, but Molayne doesn’t seem to get the hint, or doesn’t seem to care that he obviously doesn’t want to talk about that.

“You must really like him, right?”

“The fuck are you talking about?!” Why does he have to always blush so easily? He hates the way his body always seems to be out to betray him.

“It’s not just a friend thing, is it? I mean, what you guys are doing…you were just trying to make it less weird for me, right?”

“Like hell! I meant exactly what I said, and so did he! We’re just friends who sometimes fuck. It’s not that weird, is it?” he asks, knowing already that he sounds too defensive.

“It’s not weird, you’re just already really close,” he replies. “Sorry if I got it wrong, it’s just…I don’t know, it at least seems like you want it to be something else.”

“Me?! Why the fuck would I…” How does some clueless nerd like Molayne seem to see through him so easily? It’s fucking stupid, nobody should be able to tell how he really feels, let alone  _ Molayne _ . Molayne, who makes himself one hell of a third wheel; Molayne, who likes Guzma for some unknown reason; Molayne, who is always right there in the way, and before now, he thought he was only trying to make Guzma feel included when he talked to him, when he listened and hung onto every word.

“It’s really not a big deal if you like him. You guys are already so close.” The more he speaks, the more Guzma has him figured out, and the more he knows exactly how he is going to get him off his back. He’s been frustrated and horny for a couple days anyway, and he’d been wishing that he had run into Kukui instead, that they could spend some time together, but this works out just fine too.

“If I liked him so much, I wouldn’t try and fuck you, would I?” he asks, trying to keep his voice casual, but nearly bursting out laughing at the look of shock on Molayne’s face.

“You wouldn’t…you wouldn’t what?” he stammers, and now Guzma  _ really _ wants to laugh.

“Come on, you’ve never done it before, right? And you’re always gawking at me, and you came back just to peep on us that one time. I can tell ya wanna try for yourself, right?” he asks, leaning in close, watching as Molayne blushes and stammers and tries to make excuses that he just can’t make, tries to talk himself out of something that he definitely wants.

By now, Guzma knows enough to be able to take the lead, to show Molayne just what he needs to do to make sure that it doesn’t suck too much. It’s his first time, so Guzma isn’t expecting miracles, but he can teach him enough that he can get something out of it. He thought he would feel weird, getting naked in front of someone other than Kukui, but he can talk himself out of any uncomfortable feelings by reminding himself that it’s just Molayne, that he knows what he’s in for, and that he’s going to have his mind blown one way or another.

And Guzma does, essentially, blow his mind. He isn’t even that bad, at least not for his first time, and Guzma is able to get plenty out of it, at least enough to cure him of some of his frustrations. It is definitely enough to get Molayne to shut up about Kukui for a little while, whether he is convinced of Guzma’s feelings or not. The only time that he does bring the other boy up is when Guzma says they can do that again sometimes.

He asks, “So, what, does this mean I’m like Kukui now?”

It is an easy question to answer; it is an easy yes. As long as the two of them are casual, and as long as he and Kukui are casual, then the situations are exactly alike. And it helps to prove his point, that he doesn’t have feelings for Kukui, if he just says yes. But he says, “Sort of,” instead, because he is a fucking idiot, who can’t keep his stupid feelings out of it for even a moment.

Yeah, things are the same physically, if they keep things up and keep things casually. They are completely different where his feelings are concerned, because he wants to be anything but casual with Kukui, because these days, he wants more than anything to have something more to hold onto, and to be able to rely on his best friend and to not feel so weird about it.

Molayne doesn’t question the answer, though, and he doesn’t bring Kukui up anymore either. Whether he understands or not, whether he has Guzma figured out or not, doesn’t matter all that much just as long as he keeps his mouth shut about it, and lets the topic die. It’s none of his business who or what Guzma is doing, after all, and he understands that.

~X~

Kukui figures out what is going on between his two friends eventually. The shift is subtle, and just in the way that they treat each other. Sometimes, Molayne seems nervous around him, but Guzma does not act any differently, and eventually, Kukui is able to figure out that the two of them are fooling around too. It makes sense; he already figured that Molayne liked Guzma, or at least was into him, and Guzma has become pretty insatiable lately, always so horny whenever they meet up that Kukui isn’t sure if anything he does will be enough to calm him down.

It makes sense for him to find another casual partner, to make sure that his needs are all met.

He tries to ask Molayne about it casually, but there is no casual way to ask something like that, so in the end, he just has to be blunt. Immediately, Molayne is flustered, but he does not try to deny it. Instead, he simply asks, “Are you mad?”

“Mad? About that?” asks Kukui. He has a feeling that he really is supposed to be mad, but he can’t bring himself to be upset about the situation, or at least not the situation with the two of them. The only thing that really hurts him is the fact that he still hasn’t gotten over the fact that Guzma does not want a relationship with him, but Guzma fucking other people does not really factor into that at all.

“I thought since you guys were close…” Molayne starts, trailing off, clearly feeling guilty. It’s not like they’re dating- as he knows all too well- but even if they were, he would have just wanted them to be upfront about the fact that they were doing it. That part must be really weird, but he really does think that the only thing that bothers him is that he and Guzma are still just friends who fuck sometimes.

He decides that it is better not to unload all of that weird stuff onto Molayne, though. For one thing, he hasn’t ever admitted his feelings for Guzma to anyone, and for another thing, he knows that Guzma wants to keep things casual. Molayne may have been his friend first, but obviously, there’s stuff going on between the two of them, so it wouldn’t be a good idea to tell Molayne that he doesn’t necessarily want things to be casual, when he has done such a good job pretending to be on the same page as Guzma.

“There’s nothing to be mad about, seriously. We’re just friends, and you guys are friends too,” he finally says. “So don’t worry about it, yeah?”

“Sorry, I guess I just thought you both…never mind,” Molayne says, and then he is content to drop the subject altogether. With nothing else to talk about, Kukui continues to dwell on the situation, and how weird it has become.

He knows that he has feelings for Guzma, and that he probably has for years, even though they didn’t start to come to the surface until after they started getting way too close. But it was around that time that they agreed that things would be casual, and that they could stay friends. When Kukui brought that up, he only meant that he did not want Guzma to think they would lose the closeness they already had because of this, but as Guzma agreed with him, it became pretty clear that they were agreeing that they would never be anything more than friends, no matter what they did. Which Guzma seemed pretty insistent on, and so, Kukui definitely wasn’t going to make an idiot out of himself by asking for more.

He can be friends, no problem, and he sure as hell doesn’t mind getting some fun out of it; he just never realized how much he wanted more until they had already agreed that was out of the question.

~X~

Guzma finds out that Kukui is getting married. He isn’t surprised that he doesn’t get an invitation, not after the fight that they had when they were teens. They haven’t really talked since then, and they have both gone their separate ways, doing their own things to cope with the disappointments of life. Or, at least, that is how Guzma puts it, but Kukui continued to insist, right up until the end, that he was exactly where he wanted to be.

That was a big part of the fight, he supposes. Kukui just fell right in line, acting like all of the dreams they shared when they were kids never happened, like he never wanted the same things that Guzma did, and that he always wanted whatever the hell it is that he hopes to get after becoming a fucking professor. It was kind of obvious that he would end up focusing on research eventually, but not after giving up on everything else.

What happened to becoming trial captains? What happened to using that to shake things up and make it interesting? What happened to all the boring, stupid traditions they were going to smash right through together? Kukui claims that Guzma took it all too hard, but it isn’t like that; he just realized that he was never actually going to get anything done like that, and that he definitely wasn’t going to get anything done moping around about it, so he decided to keep trying.

Kukui decides that he can just focus on his “real career,” because this is what he “really wanted” all along. He just falls right in line like it’s nothing, so how is Guzma  _ not _ supposed to get pissed off? If he’s taking it too hard, then at least it’s better than just going right along with things, just letting the antiquated system walk all over him. Guzma makes plans and starts actually  _ trying  _ for shit, and Kukui sets his mind to studying and being a good boy.

And he tells Guzma that he needs to grow up, that his “destructive nature” isn’t cute anymore, that he needs to get his shit together and stop acting like he can solve all of his problems by breaking things. Which is probably what hurts the most, not that anything that asshole can say could ever hurt him. But that was the last fight they had, and Guzma had told Kukui that  _ he _ was the immature one, if he really thought that what he was doing counted as growing up, and they stopped talking.

For a little while, they lived together, which wasn’t  _ too _ awkward or anything. Guzma wasn’t going to go back home to his father, not after experiencing life outside of his house, and it would have been hard to, anyway. The one time he tried to get his stuff, he ended up leaving without even making it to his room; his father hardly recognized him, and definitely didn’t approve of the change, but Guzma has never been a pushover, and the last thing he was going to do was let his dad get the last swing in.

After their journey, he stopped fucking Molayne, mostly because Molayne was too busy living out his own dream. He was probably a good trial captain, but Guzma hasn’t talked to him in years, and he probably wanted nothing to do with the fallout of his and Kukui’s friendship. The two of  _ them _ stopped fucking after living together for a little while, because the closer they were, the more complicated it made things seem, and then, the fights started, and it became clear that they were drifting apart, that they had very different goals for life.

Which is why Guzma only finds out through the grapevine that his former best friend is getting married, to some other professor, and apparently they’re disgustingly, blissfully happy together, and that they look good together too. She suits him perfectly, he hears, because they have so much in common and because they work well together and  _ understand _ each other.

He and Kukui didn’t understand each other, not in the end. That’s why they fell out so easily, and why they were never able to be anything more than friends who fucked sometimes. That was all they were ever supposed to be, and that was all Kukui ever wanted, anyway. It’s all Guzma ever let anyone believe he wanted, but his unresolved feelings are  _ not _ the root of the problem, or the reason that they don’t see each other anymore.

Kukui wouldn’t have room for him in his life anymore now, anyway. He’s getting married to someone, and someone who’s actually  _ good _ for him.

~X~

It’s been a long time since Kukui has heard from Guzma, and after the last fight that they had, years ago, he knows better than to try and reach out at any point. Molayne hasn’t heard from him either, but he seems to have moved on pretty quickly. He had a crush on Guzma back then, that much is obvious, but he moves on, and he and Kukui are able to stay friends with Guzma out of their lives.

It is through Molayne that he ends up hearing about what Guzma is up to, though, even before Team Skull begins to spread. Though Molayne hasn’t talked to him, the news becomes impossible to avoid on Ula’ula, where there is apparently a group of delinquents becoming a lot more organized and a lot more destructive lately. Everyone knows about the troublesome teens that crop up every now and then, unable to find their place and unable to properly participate in or complete their island challenge, and becoming bitter about that.

Troublemakers like that are usually dismissed pretty easily, because they don’t fit into the way things work in Alola. They just normally don’t get together in such big groups or travel in packs or talk about having a boss, or behave like villains organizations from bigger, more dangerous regions. Team Skull clearly takes inspiration from those sorts of groups, but with a goal in mind that makes it pretty clear who their boss must be.

So this is what Guzma decided to do with all of his free time. Despite Kukui trying to set him on a better path, despite Kukui trying to give him some sort of place, he ended up going down the worst path possible. He has decided to bring change to the region by force, heading a gang of trouble-making kids to do it, while Kukui has spent time learning and traveling, so that he can introduce new ideas in a much more constructive way.

“So, you think you’re friends with the delinquent boss,” Burnet says, when he tells her about all of this.

“I’m pretty sure,” he replies. The two of them have talked a little bit about Guzma, but not much. She knows that he had a close friend that he grew up with, and that traveled with him and Molayne, and she knows that he and that friend don’t talk anymore, after a pretty big fight. She also knows that he didn’t really date before her, but that he had a lot of casual sex, with just one boy. Maybe it’s time that he explains to her just how deep all of that goes. “But it gets a little more complicated than that…”

Burnet does not seem too surprised to hear that his best friend and his fuck buddy were the same person. She does seem a little bit surprised that he is so certain that the leader of this new gang is Guzma, but the more he explains it, the more she agrees that the pieces seem to fit. But after everything has been explained, even the things that he never told anyone before, like how he wanted to be with Guzma but felt he couldn’t, and how he never could bring himself to be jealous, she has only one thing to say.

“Are you still in love with him?” she asks.

“I haven’t talked to him in years. I never really got closure with him, it’s true, but I still…” He trails off, trying to think of how to explain himself. “You’re the love of my life, Burnet. I wouldn’t have married you if you weren’t, you know that.”

“I know, but…okay, this is probably going to sound weird, but you remember how you weren’t jealous of Mo?” she asks. “It’s kind of like that for me right now. I already know that you love me. I also don’t know how much I believe in there being  _ the  _ love of your life. Maybe  _ a _ love of your life, but…”

“I don’t really know what my feelings for him are, not anymore. It’s been so long,” he says, hardly believing what she is saying.

“I’m not saying that Guzma  _ is _ a love of your life, or anything like that. I just wanted you to know that you can talk to me about that kind of stuff, even if you’re still conflicted over stuff that happened before we met.”

He still doesn’t know how to feel about his former best friend, or what to think about what Guzma is getting up, but he at least knows that he is the luckiest man alive, to have someone like Burnet at his side.

~X~

Leaning his head back against Plumeria, Guzma sighs, finally able to relax for the first time today. It sure as hell isn’t easy keeping all of these kids in line, but he’s still glad that he gives them something to do, and a place to come home to. They’re all like him, in different ways, and they might not be much on their own, but he still believes that, in a group, they can all amount to something.

Plumeria has been a great help, a lot more reasonable and patient, and overall better with people than he is. Guzma has some strange sort of charisma, able to get the kids riled up and angry and inspired, but he is still quick tempered and antisocial. Plumeria is like a big sister to all of them, and has even found her way close to him, closer than he has been with anyone in a while.

So when he needs to unwind, she is happy to let him relax against her while she slowly fingers him, talking to him casually while listening to his gasps and moans. They have never defined their relationship, but neither of them ever asks for more from the other, content with whatever it is that they have. If it is casual, it is different from what he had with Kukui, which, of course, Plumeria knows all about.

For some reason, he has never been capable of keeping his mouth shut around her, not since she started listening to him. She knows more about him than anyone else, and she was able to figure out his feelings from just a few stories, and seems to think that he is still hung up on it because he never had a chance to get proper closer. But she doesn’t make him feel pathetic for still venting about something that happened years ago, nor is she mad that he sometimes brings up one of the others that he used to fuck like this.

He and Plumeria are probably a couple, but they must be a pretty weird one, if she lets him talk about Kukui and can tell him, with a straight face, that he might still be in love with Kukui, all without seeing it as a problem. And they must be a weird couple, if he knows that he cares a lot about her, but also knows that she is probably right.

But he has more important things on his mind, and goals that matter a lot more than thinking about a complicated friendship from years ago.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, there is going to be a sequel where they get their happy ending.
> 
> If you're interested in my writing updates, please follow my fanfiction twitter @WattStalf  
> 


End file.
